Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
