No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
