Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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