how can u be prego again
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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