youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
