My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
