Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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