Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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