Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
