It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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