people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
