Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize