the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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