I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
