its not stalking. its research.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
