I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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