I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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