i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
