am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
