Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
being pregnant is like rehab
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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