I like to think it a success when the cops are called
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
