I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
