im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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