At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
