You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
home. puking in laundry basket.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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