I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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