i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
