I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
