i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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