think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
