I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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