I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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