Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
