Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
