guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
