walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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