I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
