therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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