David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
