Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
