Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
