Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize