Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Randomize
