i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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