I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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