remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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