Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
