we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
