What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
