Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
