I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
