We named our party play list daddy issues
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
operation have a gay friend backfired
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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