why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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