make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
