whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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