Non-Jews are for practice
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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