moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Bring me that man meat
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
