Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
