It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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