Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"

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(502): View more from Kentucky

We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.

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(303): View more from Colorado

why im i the only drunk person in the library?

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(616): View more from Michigan

HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.

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(631): View more from New York

You only like me because I'm a challenge

(201): View more from New Jersey

You already blew me

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(801): View more from Utah

I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked

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(214): View more from Texas

I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat

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(586): View more from Michigan

i feel like you should know pants are always optional

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