this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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