You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
