the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
bring money and cleavage
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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