I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
