Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
