i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
