My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just want nice things and good sex
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
