I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
